Barking Mad

Make Me Laugh Monday - Yet Another Reason You Shouldn't Go Around Piercing Everything!

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Our household are definitely NOT Pepsi drinkers.  However, I couldn't help but laugh at this commercial (I think it's from Argentina) because it stands to reason, after Meg's adventures in piercing , she's probably going to end up the same way if she isn't careful!

Enjoy today's contribution to Make Me Laugh Monday hosted at Absolutely Bananas!

At Least It Wasn't a Heart Attack - But It Could Have Been Worse!

So much for our Sunday.  We were supposed to get a lot done and being that it's almost 4PM, it's not lookin' like it's gonna get done.  Why, you ask?  Well it's because I've spent most of my Sunday in the ER.   

I got up this morning feeling like crap anyhow.  My back was killing me after a night spent trying to avoid Griffy, who was UNUSUALLY snuggly.  That was enough reason alone for a freak out.  He is never that cuddly.  He was literally sleeping on top of my head and on my hip.  It got so bad that the hubby that to put him downstairs.   Dunno what was up with him, but it was annoying.  It could have had something to do with the fact that he's pretty much hairless.  Either way, combined with my constant nightmares and not being able to get comfortable, I was a miserable mess when the sun came up.

So I woke up with horrible shooting pains down my leg and into my foot and my back just aching and made the mistake of taking 3 Ibuprofen on an empty stomach.  So stupid.  About a half hour later I ate a few shredded wheat and started to fold some laundry then it hit me.....INCREDIBLY AWFUL CHEST PAIN THAT RADIATED INTO MY JAW! 

I was in so much pain that at any moment I expected to see a bright white light and Aunt Meta beckoning me forward.   I thought for sure I was having the granddaddy of all heart attacks.   I very calmly went into the kitchen, took a baby aspirin and told the hubby not to panic (which he didn't, outwardly anyhow) but I was pretty sure I was having a heart attack and perhaps we ought to get to the hospital....NOW!  We wake Meg up and tell her I'm not well and heading to the ER and I look at her, with tears in my eyes and tell her I love her.  I keep The Little Imp close, not sure I'm ever going to see her again.  Of course, I have sad music playing in my head, not what I thought I'd have playing in my head during what I imagined were my last moments on earth...nope, it was the tune to The Young and the Restless.   

As we're getting into the car, the pain abates somewhat and I'm thinking to myself; "OK, this is the calm before the storm, I'm probably going to have a massive cardiac on the road, scaring the hubby to death and leaving him permanently scarred for life...perhaps calling 911 might be advisable..."  But we didn't call 911. 

The drive to the hospital was morbid at best.  I'm sitting there trying not to bawl all the while and telling the hubby where all the bills are, and that he needs to pay the mortgage payment and what all the various log-ins are, and to not let The Little Imp get anything pierced before she's 25, and not give her too much junk food, and to make sure she stays close to her brothers and sister and not let her date....EVER.  And what do ya know...by the time he drops me off at the entrance to the ER, the pain is completely gone.  Vanished.  Nothing.

But, not knowing what just happened, I went ahead and went in.  Got the full work-up....EKG, blood drawn, questions up the wazoo.  And everything is fine.  Heart looks good, cardiac enzymes look good...it all looks good. 

I sat there, for three hours, all to be told nothing was wrong!  It would not have been so bad had it not been for the lady in the bed next to me...we were only separated by a thin curtain, but dear Sweet 6lb 4oz baby Jesus, I would have paid ANYTHING to be ANYWHERE but there.   Our ER has no walls separating rooms, just large bays with curtains.  Lovely.   

I could have been laying there next to anyone else, but no, I had to be next to THELADYWITHTHEINTESTINALBLOCKAGETHATCAMEUNBLOCKED! OMG the horrors...the smells...the sounds.   About ninety minutes into my stay, I was really wishing I'd have a massive heart attack.  I kept turning up the volume on the little TV speaker, but it didn't help.  They brought her in a little portable toilet (which was really nothing more than a steel frame with a bucket strapped underneath it) and it was right next to the curtain, which was right next to my bed.   I was sitting right there when, well for lack of a better phrase, her damn broke and burst forth.  It's a good thing this happened when the hubby and The Little Imp went to get some lunch because I'm sure The Little Imp would have barfed when the spill over ran into my "room."  I got my unfashionably dressed (you know those hospital gowns are just so trendy! NOT!) self up and sat in the chair against the far wall and put my feet in the extra chair.  "Don't let it get me...don't let the poop get me!" was all I could think. 

Mercifully I was discharged about twenty minutes later.  Good thing too because the nurse treating the lady next to me told her that she would probably have a couple more "good size BM's" in the next hour or so.   I signed all the papers they asked me to and then I practically RAN out of the ER!

So, what was wrong with me you ask?  Most probably something called an Esophageal Spasm.  I have had them before, and it's almost ALWAYS brought on by eating something with a lot of fiber, or something too hot, that I haven't let cool off enough.   I guess a lot of people have these, thinking they are heart attacks and go to the ER, only to find out much like I did, that it's an ES.

I guess it could have been a whole lot worse...I could have had a bowel obstruction that decided to unobstruct itself.

Anyone See the Resemblance?

Big heads, little bodies.

Those Are NOT My Cats!

Funny story.  True, but funny.

Meg had a doctor's appointment this morning and because the doc was running late, I decided to keep her out the rest of the day...I mean, no point going back for half of your last class, right? Especially when you are a senior.  No biggie. 

Originally the plan had been to go pick up the Little Imp around 4pm and drop her and Meg off at home and then I'd go get the cats.  Well, as Meg and I talked, we decided to see if the cats were ready to go.  I wanted someone to go with me because I wasn't real sure how I was going to react to seeing the cats, for the most part, hairless.  I called the vet and she said they did beautifully and were just "cute as buttons!"  Well ok, now, that's reassuring.  Not really.

We made our way up to the vets office and we're kinda giggling nervously, wanting to see the cats, but then afraid we're going to freak out.   Afterall, I've only known these cats one way....with tons and tons of fur.   I've never even seen a real live cat after a lion cut, just photos.  And it's entirely different when these are OUR cats were talking about.   Meg and I are sitting there waiting and out walk the vets' assistants with two boxes.  Both the girls carrying the crates had big smiles on their faces and were telling us how they were "just sooooo cute *giggle giggle*" and "look just like they have pajamas on!"...  They IMMEDIATELY reccommended NOT opening Gracie's box until we got home and were a safe distance away.  With the sounds coming from her travel crate I was in complete agreement.  "Pissed off pussy" doesn't even begin to describe it.  I am sure, in meowanese, she as saying all sorts of stuff like; &$!@&!!! and a few **^%$! ....she was one unhappy kitty. 

They did however pop open the top of Griffy's crate and can I just say, I was NOT PREPARED for what met my eyes.   I was sure they had swapped my big huge tumbleweed or orange and white fluffy purrfection for a cream colored suede-feeling cat with a pom-pom on the end of it's tale that resembled a fly-fishing lure.  My initial thought was; "put it back, it's not mine!"

And do you know what I did?  Do you have any idea how I reacted? 

I burst into fits of hysterical laughter.  I could not believe that was my cat.  It was the strangest thing I have ever seen.   Well, or so I thought...I hadn't seen Gracie yet.  But once Griffy looked up at me with those adorable little eyes that seemed to be saying; "whyyyyyyyy, whyyyyyy did youuuuuuu dooooooo this to meeeeeeeeeeeee?" I knew it was my cat.  Oh sweet 6lbs 4oz baby Jesus, what did I do to our cats? 

Would you like to see what I did to my cats?  Maybe it's best that you don't.  It could result in trauma.  It could result in shock and awe (and gee just think, Gee Dub didn't inflict it this time around), it could even result in severe fits of hysterical laughter.   So, because I love all my interweb peeps, all ten or so of you who read my blog, I will preface that pictures with the following warning:

WARNING - These photos contain graphic images of nearly naked felines. Viewing these photos may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools, incontinence, constipation, retinal damage, hearing loss, bleeding gums and in reported cases, erectile dysfunction.  Viewing these photos inhibit the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E and K have been added.

There, you've been warned! 

Griffy, BEFORE:



Griffy, AFTER:

You can almost see Gracie in the background.  Check out their tales!  OMG, that's the funniest thing I have ever seen!

When Meg let them out of the crates we about died laughing.  Well, it was really a combination of nervous giggles and shock.  And they feel so strange.  Literally like suede.  Bizarre is the best word I can come up with. 

Here is Gracie BEFORE

You can kinda tell, from the above photo, that Gracie's undercoat is very light.  But for the most part, she is a very dark smoke colour.  So imagine my surprise when this nearly all-white feline bat-out-of-hell jumps out of the box and dashes downstairs.  I was shocked.   

Gracie AFTER

We couldn't really get a decent photos of her by herself, because she's just too upset right now.  Meg holding her and then this one are as close as I've come.  But then, if I'd just been given the kitty (I was NOT going to use the "P" word for cats this time around) equivalent of a full body-Brazillian , I'd be pissed off too!

The hubby is gonna have a stroke when he sees what's been done to his pussies. 

Speaking of the Cats...It's LION CUT Day!

Both of them are going to be hairless soon.  Well, pretty much anyhow.

They are not real happy critters right now as both are in their little travel crates and awaiting the trip to the vets where they will be given light anesthesia (because, as cats, they stress too much and stress can potentially be fatal to cats) and then be divested of  most of their fur, with the exception of a ball at the end of thier tails, around their paws and the fur on their heads and "collars" will be left...hence why it's called a "Lion Cut."  OK, so we all know they are gonna look pretty damned funny.

As I said, neither one of the cats are real happy right now, and I'm willing to bet, once they wake up, they won't be real pleased either.  But we don't have a choice.  Sadly their fur has become so matted (despite being brushed every other day) that it could eventually cause skin problems. 

They are already starting the day off on a cranky note as they weren't allowed any breakfast and all nearly 20lbs of Griffy was stalking around the house, meowing up a storm in protest.  Gracie just sat there and tried to swipe our ankles any time one of us would walk by.  Then they took to trying to kill us as we walked up and down the stairs by racing ahead of us and in between our feet.   Homicidal kitties on a mission.  Every house should have a pair.

The hubby had the task of crating them up this morning and he said, and I'm quoting;

"Those are some pissed off pussies!"

And I bet once they see themselves afterwards their disposition won't change a whole lot either.

And yes my luvlies...there will most certainly be pictures.  Well, once they come out of hiding, which I imagine will take a day or two.

I just hope they stay in their little travel crates in the car because I can't even imagine trying to corrall two "pissed off pussies" in an enclosed car...pussies who are very hungry!