Barking Mad

Happy 20th Birthday, Joshua

Dear Joshua:

Happy Birthday son....Happy 20th Birthday!

Twenty...not yet twenty one but no longer a teen.   You would have been a coming up on the close of your sophomore year in college and probably conspiring with Matt and Meg on summer plans - and a huge send off before their first year of college.  Oh how old I feel thinking about THREE of my babies in COLLEGE already.

I suppose you look down from your place with Heavenly Father, all the old Dutch Aunts, and Great Granma and Great Granpa W. and watch life around our house.  I bet you've been shaking your head lately.   Sometimes, I can't help but wonder, especially after days spent where it's just Meg and I, if you and I would have had some of the talks that Meg and I do.  Sometimes they are quite silly, bordering on the absurd, and other times they are serious - the weight of the world on our shoulders.  Meg is my diamond in the rough and so many times I wonder what her life, and Matt and Zack's and eventually the Little Imp's  would have been like with their big brother looking out for them.

The Little Imp knows who you are now.  She can point to your photograph and say your name.  I'm sure it will be some time before she actually realizes who you are.  Ya know?   Sometimes its hard watching her and keep myself from wanting to bundle her inside the house, safe from all the dangers outside...always.  She is now the same age you were when we lost you.  As much as I worry, I can't help but smile at her impish ways and how she delights in being so amusing.  Her smile reminds me so much of you.

This year has been pretty rotten so far, kiddo.  It's been tough slogging through all the crap that's happened.     Then recently, I had a hard time letting the Little Imp head out on her first field trip with her Montessori class.  You know, she's only two...it was too soon.  I decided to keep her home with me.  There will be other field trips.  Maybe it wasn't the right decision, but it was the right decision for me.  I felt like a huge boob for making a big deal over it, but Grammie W. and G  were my rocks and supported whatever decision I wanted to make.   Thankfully the director of the Montessori was very understanding and knew  where I was coming from, and that it was not that I lacked trust in them, but it was just something I was dealing with.   She gave me the option of accompanying the group out on the field trip, but I'm just not real sociable right now and I simply wanted to keep the impish one home and spend the day doing fun stuff with her. 

One thing I have realized through it all though is that I don't think I grieve as hard for the two year old I lost, as I do the young man that would never be.   Oh sure, I still have days when I miss my mischievous and funny little Joshy....but more than that, I cry for the young man that never got to hit his first home run, score his first touchdown, proudly bring home a report card full of good grades...I weep over my own loss as well.  I didn't  ever get to watch you pedal those first tentative times, on your own - without training wheels...I never saw the look of accomplishment on your face as you got your driver's license and I was never able to scream with joy (like I did with Meg) over your acceptance to your first choice college.    I grieve the little boy, the child, the young man and the adult who never got the chance to grow up.

Of course it goes without saying that you and I missed out on those common teenage/parent tussles.  Believe me, Meg and I make up for it.  But like a brief storm, it passes and we are stronger.   She is so much like me that it's frustrating sometimes.  It's like arguing with myself.  More often than not though, the arguments end in giggles and we realize what horses asses we are.  She's a real blessing, that sister of yours.  I think you'd be proud of her. 

Joshua, as much as a I grieve and long for things that never came to pass, as much as the pain sometimes permeates me to my very core, I know with a deep-seated knowledge, that I will see you again.  I will hold your face in my hands and I will bury my face in your golden brown curls.   There will be no tears and there will be no pain.  Only love.   I long for that day.

Happy Birthday Joshua.  I miss you kiddo, but I love you more.

Mommy

Make Me Laugh Monday: Serious Government Warning

Today's contribution to Make Me Laugh Monday, hosted over at Absolutely Bananas, is on the more serious side of things. 

I care about you dear readers, so much so, that I bring you this government warning...because we all know that our beloved government wants nothing but the best for us!

WARNING:

Do NOT swallow your bubble gum...This is what happens...
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100 Things About Me

One of these days, when I can figure out how to add this list as a link in the sidebar, I will.  Until then, here's the full version. 

Enjoy!

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100 Things About Me

1. I was born, imagine that! I know I know…some of you were thinking I was hatched.

 

2. This can’t be good if I’m already stuck at number two, for other things to list about myself.

 

3. I’m rarely if ever at a loss for words, although after reading number 2, it does raise a few questions.

 

4. I was a radio DJ (nowadays called “air talent”) for nearly a decade and you probably also heard me on several radio commercials as I did loads of voice-overs too.

 

5. I’m allergic to horses and bunnies.

 

6. I’m also allergic to Bees.

 

7. My husband (the Brit) and I were childhood pen-pals, way back in the day when      we wrote to one another using that really thin airmail paper.

 

8. I had childhood pen-pals from Great Britain, New Zealand, Australia, Norway, Sweden and Greece.

 

9. I have met three of my childhood pen-pals and even married one of them!

 

10. I am the oldest of my siblings.

 

11. Watching feminine hygiene commercials around men, my dad in particular, embarrasses      me to no end.

 

12. I have severe emetophobia.

 

13. I was once stung by a scorpion….in Texas

 

14. I once lit my hair on fire….in Texas

 

15. I once glued my fingers to my steering wheel…in Texas

 

16. I have an intense dislike of Texas.     

 

17. I love the ocean.

 

18. I love lighthouses.

 

19. I love the sound of seabirds, the waves crashing against the shore and foghorns…all at the same time.

 

20. I am almost paralyzingly scared of drowning in the ocean, or one of my children drowning in the ocean.

 

21. I hate roller coasters.

 

22. I love Disneyland.

 

23. Pirates of the Caribbean and The Haunted Mansion are my two favourite rides at Disneyland.

 

24. I hate It’s a Small World at Disneyland. The song, playing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again makes me want to punch someone in the face.

 

25. In the summer of 2003 my twins, Matt and Meg, and I, got stuck on It’s a Small World for 3 hours. I offered to pay Disneyland park personnel to, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE THE MUSIC STOP!!!!!!!!

 

26. I have three nipples.

 

27. Yes, I said THREE.

 

28. No, I will not post a picture of them.

 

29. I hate peas, lima beans, spinach, asparagus…oh hell, the majority of vegetables, but most especially TOMATOES.

 

30. I do however like cooked tomatoes.

 

31. I love cucumbers, celery, carrots, corn, potatoes, almost all lettuce, parsnips,leeks, and a few others I can’t recall off the top of my head.

 

32. I hate peaches, nectarines, plums, grapes and avocados.

 

33. I think that strawberries are like little orgasms in my mouth!

 

34. It is my personal opinion that adults who eat with their mouths open, or make wet, mushy noises when eating should be punched in the face…or at the very least, poked in the eye.

 

35. I love icy-cold canned pears with a dollop of sour cream on top.

 

36. I love to write.

 

37. I hate math.

 

38. I was a very good Archer in my teenage years and even placed in state and national target events.

 

39. I’ve      never hunted before, and whilst an avid fan of target Archery, I abhor hunting as a sport. If you are going to eat it, fine. If you are going to kill and then mount it (that sounded all sorts of wrong), then I think that borders on barbaric. Killing something for sport is inhumane.

 

40. I have eaten buffalo, snake, ostrich, and cow tongue in the past and will be very happy if I never EVER have to eat them again. YUCK!

 

41. This is only number 41 and I am about to fall over asleep.

 

42. If the Little Imp had been a boy, I wanted to name him Tucker.

 

43. I’m going to bed now. I’ll finish this later.

 

44. Sometimes I eat dill pickles and oranges before bed just to produce vivid dreams. Yes, it works, although it sometimes causes horrid nightmares.

 

45. I hate Spotted Dick, Christmas pudding and almost anything with currants in it.

 

46. I am a recovering pessimist.

 

47. I bite my nails.

 

48. I sat on a large moth tonight.

 

49. The moth did not survive.

 

50. Its 24 hours later and I’m still not done with this damn list.

 

51. I have naturally curly hair.

 

52. When I was pregnant with my twins (almost 19 years ago) two of my favourite things to eat were; Doritos and peanut butter sandwiches, and oatmeal with soy sauce on top. Um yeah….the      thought of either of those combinations now makes me gag.

 

53. I have huge feet. And you know what they say about women with big feet…….they have big mouths!

 

54. I love to sing….alone.

 

55. I think Professor Snape is HOT!

 

56. I once gave a bird Alka Seltzer because a boy I liked told me to. I didn’t know what it would do.  I was only 13.

 

57. I adore vampire books.

 

58. Erma Bombeck and Dave Barry are two of my favourite humourists.

 

59. I secretly enjoy watching Hannah Montana with the Little Imp.

 

60. I guess number 59 isn’t a secret anymore.

 

61. I once vomited all over two of my 80-something year old aunts and uncle, in the backseat of a 1986 Honda Accord. I was 18 and drunk as a sailor on leave.

 

62. I hate gardening.

 

63. I love tulips.

 

64. I do not like red roses.

 

65. I just found out that for $5, Meg will eat a cockroach.

 

66. I don’t happen to have a cockroach handy.

 

67. I don’t know how much money it would take for me to eat a cockroach, but      it’s probably enough to pay off our mortgage.

 

68. I love playing practical jokes on friends and family.

 

69. I hate martial arts films.

 

70. Last year I accidentally shaved off my eyelashes and half of one eyebrow in a tragic cosmetic appliance accident.

 

71. I found out the rumour about it taking 7 years for eyelashes to grow back is a BIG FAT LIE!

 

72. I think that fake eyelashes are akin to having caterpillars on ones eyes.

 

73. I once cut my little brother’s hair. I am not a licensed cosmetologist. My parents both react the same way, with nervous twitches, to this day, when they see me with a pair of scissors.

 

74. I do not like puppies.

 

75. I’m really struggling to come up with another bloody 25 things about me.

 

76. I get frustrated easily.

 

77. I am not creative, yet yearn to be more like Martha.

 

78. I cannot drive a stick-shift (manual).

 

79. As a child, Jack Nicholson used to terrify me.

 

80. I still believe in the “monster under the bed” and refuse to sleep with any of my appendages sticking out from under the blankets or hanging over the side of the bed.

 

81. I need to have my eyebrows waxed.

 

82. I hate eggnog.

 

83. I used to have three male roommates and for the nearly two years I lived with them, it was one of the best times of my life.

 

84. I HATE NASCAR!!!!!!
     

 

85. Arundel Castle,in Arundel, UK is one of my favourite places in the entire world.

 

86. I have no idea who I am voting for in this year’s Presidential Election. 

 

87. I voted for Bill Clinton.

 

88. I fell asleep once during an overnight air shift at a Seattle radio station, and was awoken by my boss and Ken Griffey Jr., standing there watching me drool (I am SERIOUS) all over the control board.

 

89. I had a part-time gig as a receptionist at a Mercedes dealership during the same time I was on the air in Seattle and Ken Girffey Jr. bought a white Mercedes from that dealership…I can’t tell you how nice it was that he remembered me!

 

90. Snowboarding is my favourite sport.

 

91. The summer Olympics bore me to tears.

 

92. I love Warren Miller films.

 

93. I am deeply spiritual but not religious. I do not believe in organized religion.

 

94. I think 93 counts as a two-fer.

 

95. I love watching I Love Lucy reruns.

 

96. I sometimes creep into the Little Imp’s bedroom late at night just to watch her sleep and listen to her breath.

 

97. I am grateful Meg has given me a second chance.

 

98. I am blessed to have such an amazing husband.

 

99. I love my family more than anything.
100. I am DONE!

 

Take That, Mosquitoes!

Are you looking for a way to reach out to those in another nation that cannot reach out for themselves?  Is money tight (and really, with gas nearing $4.00 a gallon, who isn't pinching their pinnies just a bit more these days) yet you'd still like to help in some small way?  Then I have just the ticket! 

Malaria is a totally preventable illness, however many people in Uganda don't have access to the medicines in order to prevent or treat the disease.   The amazing folks at Compassion have put together a program called Bite Back.

This Friday, April 25th, is World Malaria Day.  Through the Bite Back blitz, folks can donate $10.00 that will provide a family with a mosquito net which will last for three years.  THREE YEARS people!!!! Some brand new cars don't even last that long!   Of course, if you feel compelled to give more than that, by all means, go for it!  Seriously though, ten bucks is not that much and offers a great deal of protection for those in need. And if you can't spare the $10.00 right now (believe me, I would never judge you, things, they be gettin' tight out there in sinking-economy-land), then you can head on over to BooMama's place and pinch the code to place somewhere on your own blog.

Oh and for my British readers (and I know you're out there!  I'm related to you!), that's only £5.00!!!

(Grrrrr, just trying to make that annoying ad sink!)

The Little Imp Learns About Karma

This is what happens when you kick and slap your mama!  You wake up with a miserable case of Pink Eye!

It looked a lot worse at 5AM (!!!!!) this morning when she decided she just HAD to wake up.  It was completely gummed shut, green and overall, pretty gross!

I'm actually debating as to whether it's really in fact Pink Eye and not a horrible case of allergies.  Yesterday she was outside playing on the screened in porch that's off of the master bedroom, and the floor is covered with green pollen from last year, before we moved in.  We never got around to really cleaning it off once we bought the house and got ourselves moved in.  Truth be told, we don't even use that porch, nice as it is.  We might this year, but until yesterday, it went totally ignored. 

When I brought the Little Imp in after playing out there for the better part of two hours, she was covered, head to toe, in pollen.  So um yeah, I'm thinking it might just be a case of pollen overload/allergies.  It wouldn't surprise me because any day now my very own eye allergies are going to kick in. 

But if it's all the same to you dear readers (all 5 of you), I'm going to interpret this as a whacking great cosmic lesson in Karma.