I'm sitting here, one hour before my oldest daughter Megawatt gets behind the wheel of one of our cars, whilst an officer of the Maine DMV slides into the passenger seat next her, (say a little prayer for him/her won't you?), chewing my nails to the quick and wondering where all my Valium has gone.
I keep asking myself, does she REALLY need her license? The short answer is yes, because as I have stated before, the hubby and I are tired of dragging her ass here, there and everywhere. But, maybe we could suck it up a little longer...oh say another ten years? No, probably not.
She leaves for college in less than four weeks. And now she's getting her license, well, provided she passes the test. There are a million things running through my mind...
What if she drives and gets distracted by the stereo? OK easily rectified, yank that sucker out!
What if she drives and talks on her cell phone? Threaten her with immediate death if caught blabbing away on that thing.
What if, GOD FORBID she texts whilst driving? Cut off her hands. That will take care of the entire driving thing pretty much. But then she'd have to go around with hooks and really, those aren't very trendy. So maybe that solution is out. But I think I recall seeing a Discovery show about a man with no hands who was driving with his hooks. Yeah, she'd be ALL OVER that!
What if she speeds? Hmmm I wonder how much those speed governors are that you can put on cars to keep them from going over a certain speed?
What if she puts "spinners" on the Volvo like she keeps threatening to do? Remind her that Helga, my precious Swedish girl, does NOT roll that way!
What if the unthinkable happens? Nope, not gonna think about it.
Yet, I will think about it, much like every other parent who has a teen who is dying to get out and burn rubber. I worry, sometimes obsessively about her driving habits, but more than that, I worry about the driving habits, or lack thereof of OTHER drivers. So many things can happen. I hope we've prepared her enough.
This is all coming too fast. Weaning the Little Imp...Meg getting her drivers license, Meg heading off to college. It's all colliding at the same time and I just want to yell; "STOP THE MERRY-GO-ROUND! I WANT TO GET OFF!"
So much change, happening so rapidly. I'm just not ready.
And frankly, I don't think other drivers in Maine are ready either.
Alas fellow Mainers, and drivers everywhere, I can't put this off any longer. This morning at 8AM EST we may be welcoming a newly licensed driver into the fold.
That reminds me, I need to go refill my Valium prescription. I wonder if the pharmacy would mind opening a bit early for me?
********************************
10:32AM EST
Soup Nazi says; "No License for YOU today!"
Parallel parking did Meg in.
Oh and her examiner? Pretty much a bitch. I say this because she wasn't even at our car when she started barking (picture a pit bull if you will, except with blond scraggly hair and too much blue make up! Obviously she was still stuck in the 80's) orders at Meg. She didn't introduce herself she just dug her heels in. OK I get it, no nonsense. However, some things Meg told me about how she responded to her and then when I saw her greet the next potential licensee, a cute male, close to Meg's age - she was all smiles and hair tosses and giggles and demure femininity. She extended her hand in introdcution and as they drove off she was all smiles and more hair tosses. WTF?
I will admit though, Meg comes from a long line for first time flunkies. I flunked my first road test and it was only by a miracle - being that I was pregnant and in my first trimester with the twins and had to pull over in the middle of the drive so I could barf - that I passed. I think my examiner took pity on me. My mom, Meg's grandma flunked the first time as well. So really, she's just carrying on family tradition.
Selfishly I am a tad relieved she didn't pass...yet. But then reality slaps me in the face and reminds me that SOMEONE is gonna have to take her to and pick her up from work again.
Until the 21st of this month.
When she hopefully passes her second road test.
