Over the past couple of days, when I haven't been sleeping (I've been spending about 16 hours a day sleeping lately...yep, probably time for another medication change!), scanning Ebay for photography related stuff, reading the newest vampire series to come onto my radar (thanks Amanda, the piles of laundry were already bad enough before you told me about those books!), or watching season one of True Blood on DVD, I've been trying to answer the question; "Who Am I?"
First comes the easiest and the obvious...
I am a:
- Mother
- Wife
- Friend
- Smart Ass
- Reader
- Morbidly obese woman
- Pessimist
- Dreamer who is too afraid to dream anything good for herself
- Deeply depressed
- Recluse
- Frightened soul too afraid to face the real world
- Mother of a deceased child
Then comes the not so obvious, or the things I try to hide so that no one else sees...
I am a:
I am a:
- Bulimic
- Obsessive compulsive nail biter
- Lover of the ocean yet one who is paralyzingly terrified of drowning in its deep indigo depths.
- Afraid of myself
- Obsessively self-conscious
- Jealous and bitter
- Scared I won't have the courage to pull myself out of the mire of self-loathing and hatred that I swim in every fucking day.
Now for the things I'm not sure I am, but want to be...
I am a:
I am a:
- Writer
- Photographer
- Full time parent, capable and confident enough to interact with her children on a day-to-day basis.
- Dreamer who finds herself worthy of dreaming things for herself
- Healthy
- Funny
- Talented
- Compassionate
- Loving towards herself
And lastly...
I want to be able to look back on all this and stand up and say, "I am Audrey and I am a survivor."
