Take one 40 year old semi-reclusive mother, wife, and cat keeper, toss in a hyperactive (I mean that in the best way possibly Megawatt, love you!) 19 year year old daughter, put both into a gas-guzzling SUV and cram to the hilt with more clothing and crap than either will use in a 6 week period of time, let alone 6 days, shake well, then drive 750 miles south to Blog Fest and you have the makings for a completely wired mama.
For instance, I actually went ALL BY MYSELF (I didn't have my typical security blankets with me, in the form of the hubby or Megawatt) to Target this afternoon and Chesapeake Bay Woman just happened to call me whilst I was standing in the checkout line. My brain had been going a million miles an hour because I kept thinking of things I was likely going to need, things my hubby would need to keep the Little Imp occupied for 6 days and then I got sidetracked and stopped to think about how this was going to be THE FIRST TIME EVER IN HER SHORT 3 1/2 YEARS that I had left her overnight. Then I had a little panic attack and almost backed out of the whole damn trip but recalled that several people would probably put a bounty on my head if I did.
If all that weren't enough, as I was walking by the cosmetics and medicine aisles earlier, I remembered that the hubby needed some Nyquil as he's come down with a nasty head cold (of course, the DAY BEFORE I leave on my whirlwind road-trip!), and I needed some Neosporin+Pain Relief because I shredded the sides of my feet with my brand new PedEgg. The pain radiating around the sides of each of my feet, which now resembles blocks of Parmesan cheese at the Olive Garden, were painful reminders that my vanity has once again cost me. Oh and that reminds me, don't let me forget to tell you about my other recent run-in with a body product. Later though, OK? If I start that story now I'll totally lose my train of thought and it's hard enough to keep that locomotive at the station as it is.
I grab the Nyquil (then I started to wonder if it was actually Dayquil he wanted, so I go back and get it too, just in case!), pinch some Neosporin+Pain Relief (because that "+Pain Relief" is oh so important right now) off of an adjoining shelf, and then stop to text CBW to ask her how many people are going to be at Blog Fest because I have an idea for some schwag! Mere moments later I completely forget that I've texted her and stand there staring at the bottles of sunscreen and wonder if I bought sunscreen for the trip? Thankfully I didn't get any because when I got home I discovered we have 5 bottles of the stuff. I grab some other sundry items and head to the checkout stands and my phone rings. I got a little excited because right there on my caller ID it said, "Chesapeake Bay Woman!" Squeeeee!
So I'm standing there talking to her and I feel around in the side of my purse for my cell phone and have a small heartastroke because I know I just had in my hot little hands and now I can't find it and I start to fear I might have left it on the shelf next to the Dayquil/Nightquil or perhaps did I set it down over by the Neosporin, or worse yet, I left it over by the CD's and surely some rotten, stinkin' teenager has stolen my gorgeous purple LG Lotus. Shit!
Then it dawns on me, that thing I have pressed to the side of my face, that purple thing with the voice coming out of it that I'm not paying any attention to because I'm so pissed off that a nasty teenager has stolen my phone...HELLO! I'm on my phone!
Then I get home and see the state of chaos that my house is in and am nearly struck down by the paralyzing waves of guilt washing over me. Dishes are in the sink, the counters are piled high with groceries that have yet to be put away, the toilets need to be scrubbed, the floors swept and vacuumed, and dear God the pain in my feet!
That m'dears, in a nutshell, is why my brain is all a'flutter. I need a holiday just to recouperate just from getting ready for this holiday!
