Dear Humans,
We might look cute and cuddly, soft and snuggly, but alas, we are highly effective and lethal killers capable of sending you mere walking bags of bald flesh running for your plastic surgeons. Don't be fooled by the pretty exteriors.
A great injustice has been committed against us, the proud, regal inmates (and when I use that word, I mean it. We are indeed inmates, locked in this plasterboard and timber box. All the humans need now is to dress us in striped pajamas.), against myself in particular. If they are willing to do this to me, what stands in the way of them dressing us like circus clowns and parading us for all the other fleshlings to gawk at?
The vet told my human mistress that I weighed too much for only being 7 months old. I heartily contest this. I am not fat! I am merely fluffy!
Despite my protestations, the evildoer called "the vet" told my mistress to put me on a strict diet and to...WALK ME.
Yes, I hang my head in shame as I show you these pictures. But I do so in the name of justice for felines everywhere!
I will not take this!
It was only after my mistress screamed and cried to her male partner, the one who speaks in a voice similar to the human who calls himself 007, about how filthy I was getting that he took pity on me and carried me, the way I should always be transported, back into the asylum.
The vet told my human mistress that I weighed too much for only being 7 months old. I heartily contest this. I am not fat! I am merely fluffy!
Despite my protestations, the evildoer called "the vet" told my mistress to put me on a strict diet and to...WALK ME.
Yes, I hang my head in shame as I show you these pictures. But I do so in the name of justice for felines everywhere!
I will not take this!
I will not take this standing...INDEED!
I will lower myself to that of the dog and roll in the dirt so that when my mistress takes me back inside I might jump upon her white suede sofa and rub myself all over it.
It was only after my mistress screamed and cried to her male partner, the one who speaks in a voice similar to the human who calls himself 007, about how filthy I was getting that he took pity on me and carried me, the way I should always be transported, back into the asylum.
Nay! I will not be tethered again to that blue nylon hell-device. I shall vomit upon it. I will vomit in the path to the bathroom so that when you step into it on the way into the bathroom in the middle of the night you might feel my wrath.
Humans, heed my warning. You shall be made to regret this most terrible trauma you have foisted upon me.
Expect it when you least expect it.
Geronimo
Humans, heed my warning. You shall be made to regret this most terrible trauma you have foisted upon me.
Expect it when you least expect it.
Geronimo
