Here we are...there she is.
We made it through Meg's departure for BMT (Basic Military Training) with the USAF. The past couple of days have been more hectic than anything I can recall in recent months. Even more so than last year when she left for college.
There was so much that went into this moment for her, but I'll start with the last 12-24 hours leading up to her getting on the airplane and flying off into the wild blue yonder.
Monday afternoon Meg had to report to her NCO's office for her last DEP (Delayed Entry Program, which she was part of) check in. Sgt. Lebreck prepared her for the hell that the first few days of BMT were going to be like. He also spoke directly to us and warned us to just sit tight because we wouldn't hear from her for the first week to 10 days. She was going to have to earn the privilege to call home and with that phone call would come her address, where we could write to her.
Sgt. Lebreck also told Meg that her first day there would be one in a string of about three weeks of solid hell, but would probably be the longest.
From Sgt. Lebreck's office we had to take Meg to the hotel she was required to check into the night before her final processing and swearing in, at the Portland MEPS office. We spent the evening with Meg, Matt, Meg's boyfriend Tyler and her best friend Chris. She had to be back at the hotel by curfew, so after dinner we dropped her off and told her we'd meet her at the MEPS station early the next morning.
We texted for a while until she fell asleep. I didn't think she'd get too much sleep and either did she but she ended up being able to sleep from about 11PM until the MEPS guys came and woke her up at 4AM. I got up at 4AM as well because I couldn't sleep for thinking about everything she was going through.
All of us (Gareth, me, Gaby, Matt, Tyler and Chris) showed up at the MEPS station around 8AM and were waiting for her to finish security processing and for her name to be called for her "official" Oath of Enlistment. It differed from when she swore in back in May because this time because back then, she was simply swearing into the DEP (Delayed Entry Program) and not signing her name in blood so to speak. Technically, anytime between then and now she could have walked away from the USAF with no issues, however yesterday once she signed her final contract and then took her Oath, that was it. She is now technically and literally property of the United States Government.
All through the day I would watch Meg's best friend's face, off and on. He's next to go into the USAF. His ship date is January 19th. Chris is a very unique and special young man. He's become like an older brother to Meg, although they are the same age. Where one is, you'll often find the other. He's been a constant around our house over the last few months. Gaby refers to Chris as "My bruver from anuver muvver!" He's got a younger sister who's just a year shy of Gaby and I really love listening to him talk about his little sister, Abigail, and watching his eyes light up as he talks about this or that - that she's done lately. I can imagine how hard it's going to be for him to say goodbye to her, as it was for Meg to hug Gaby goodbye...but I'm getting ahead of myself.
The earlier part of yesterday at the MEPS station was pretty much nothing more than "hurry up and wait" as Meg's flight time got bumped back from 1:10PM to 4:10PM.
Tyler and Meg, just hanging out and waiting at the MEPS visitor area...
They finally called Meg's name and asked for her and her guests to go to the Oath room where we were able to watch her be sworn in...
Once she was sworn in they let the parents of those who were shipping out take our airmen outside of the MEPS center to get some breakfast and just spend some time with them before they were due to go through their travel briefing at 11:45AM. We took the kids down to the wharf along the Portland waterfront and had breakfast. I'm so grateful for those extra few hours with our girl. I know that her flight being pushed back made her day even longer, but for those of us who were there with her, we will always cherish those last few silly and precious hours before she took to the air.
After breakfast we dropped the kids off at the MEPS center and told them we'd meet them at the airport. Meg forgot to pack a towel with her stuff and it was one of the items she was told to bring with her to BMT. So we ran back to the house and grabbed a towel and by the time we were done she was already at the airport.
One of the benefits of having a child who is now referred to as on "Active Duty" (I will admit that just saying those words takes a little getting used to), is that we were given security passes at the airport to wait at the gate with Meg.
It was a little surreal, sitting up there with the families of other kids getting ready to ship out. All of us were pretty subdued. I sat back as Gaby played with her posse of Polly Pockets and watched the other families talk quietly with their own airmen, or new Naval trainees (I don't know what the rest of the branches of the military call their new recruits), Marines and Army recruits. One Navy recruit in particular had about 10 family members with her. I watched as she'd scoot in close to a family member and snap a picture with them on her Blackberry. I'd watch the grandparents of another new recruit quietly tell stories of their own time during service to our wonderful country. I sat and intently watched the father of one of Meg's fellow airmen, dab his eyes as he looked on with pride at his son as he followed in his footsteps.
I watched Meg closely. I followed her gaze as she'd look at her twin brother, or I'd catch her eyes well up as she watched Gaby play with her toys. She'd look up from time to time and catch Tyler watching her every move. I watched Tyler try to reign in his emotions and be strong for his girl...this woman he loves with all this heart. I scanned Matt's face and watched the tears flow anew as he'd look at his twin sister. This has been particularly hard on Matt. He's so proud of his sister but yet misses her with an intensity that's hard to describe.
I captured a few moments of the "waiting" as we all sat and counted the minutes until her flight number was called to board.
Most of us were on our cell phones, updating Facebook, or Twitter, or texting one another. I was trying to write down some of the feelings I had as I watched this young woman before me morph from the little girl with long pony tails who loved to chase her brothers with frogs and bugs, into the headstrong teenager who claimed to be a tomboy but whose love of makeup and perfume and body lotion is legendary, to this young woman who now sat before me - this butterfly about to spread her wings for the first time and prepare to show the world her beautiful colors. I found words hard to come by. So I just captured moments here and here of these jewels in my crown...my children.
Then it happened. Her flight was called and it was time for hugs, kisses, promises to write, wishes of good luck, and final words or encouragement and support. And tears. Oh how the tears flowed and flowed.
I hugged her close and told her how proud I was to call myself her mother and that for every moment of struggle we'd had, those were eclipsed by the moments where I could burst at the seams with pride for my gorgeous girl. I kissed her cheek and told her to go and show the world who she was.
I cried as I watched Gareth's eyes fill with tears as he told Meg to g'on, make herself proud and do her best and he embraced her. Despite being her step-father, he considers Meg his daughter. He loves her as if she were his own and as I watched him hug her, I filled with an ever-deepening love for this man. Step-parenting is hard. It's oh-so-very difficult at times. He's done a keen job of perfecting the art of parent and friend to her at the times she's needed it the most.
Watching Meg say goodbye to Tyler was hard, but probably not as hard as it was for them to experience it.
And then before I knew it, Meg was standing in line, ready to board the plane. So many thoughts and emotions swirled around in my head. The tears flowed freely as I'd given up containing them and trying to hold them back. I could hear Gaby softly crying behind me and calling out Meg's name. I watched Tyler stick his hands in his pocket and pull his chin up...being strong for his girl.
Meg turned around one last time, waved at us and then she was gone, down the jetway.
Matt held Gaby as they watched the plane through the window. I could see his shoulders shake as he cried. He pulled Gaby close and together they watched their sister prepare to head off into the blue skies overhead for adventures unknown.
Gaby stood up and walked towards the window and watched as her sister's plane pulled away and prepared for take off...
...And when she turned around, my heart broke for her, into a million tiny pieces...
I pulled Gaby close to me and told her that very soon, we'd see Meg again and we'd be so proud as she marched in front of us, at graduation from BMT in January.
We stood and watched as Meg's plane ascended into the clouds until we couldn't see it any longer and then I hugged Chris and Tyler and told them to come by for dinner soon and then they left, with Matt in tow, to go and play some pool.
Gareth and I each took one of Gaby's hands, and left the airport.
We came home, went about our evening, put Gaby to bed, talked to Matt when he came home, and then tucked in for the night. The last thing we were expecting was to be awoken out of a dead sleep at 4:30AM by a call from Meg. Gareth picked up the call and the first thing I heard was Meg's voice as she said, "Hi Dad..." followed by an intense amount of yelling in the background by the TI (Training Instructor).
For some reason she was allowed a phone call home, something that's not always the precedent on a new trainees first day of BMT, to give us her address. We could scarcely hear her for the yelling by her TI in the background. I wanted to reach through the phone and slap that woman and tell her to shut the hell up so I could hear my daughter. Gareth got most of the address, or at least tried, amidst the non-stop yelling, and then that was it. She was gone. I doubt she'd been to sleep since landing in San Antonio, at Lackland Air Force Base.
I miss her. Oh how I miss my girl. Despite the ache in my heart at her not being here, there is this swell of pride and love for her and for the woman she is going to become. And for as much as I miss her, I love her so much more.
