Our recent move from Maine to NY gave me a chance to get rid of a lot of miscellaneous crap that I'd been hanging onto and was hesitant to get rid of either via Goodwill or a garage sale. A lof of the stuff I'd had stored in large Rubbermaid totes, canvas laundry bags, and boxes, consisted of Gaby's baby clothes.
When my niece, Cali, was born in January of last year, (seriously, it's been a YEAR already? AN ENTIRE YEAR since I got this phone call?), I sent a huge wardrobe box filled with baby clothes to her. I thought that had made a huge dent in glut of too-small baby clothes...and then we moved and in trying to get rid of nearly 3000lbs of stuff in order to stay within our moving budget, I came to the horrible realization that I hadn't gotten rid of a fraction of all the baby and early toddler clothes that Gaby has accumulated!
I remember hauling heavy tote after tote out of the garage and up two flights of stairs and then plopping down on the floor of my bedroom and sorting through the clothes I wanted to send to Cali, give to Goodwill or try and sell either on Ebay/Craigslist or at this mythical garage sale we keep talking about having, but yet never seem to get around to.
I took out a small, frilly pink dress adorned with bright red cherries and held it up to look at it. I could hardly believe that my tall, curly-haired, bedimpled imp of an almost 4-year old ever fit into it. Gaby was sitting at my desk coloring pictures of mermaids and seagulls and asked me why I looked sad? I told her that I wasn't sad, just wistful. She furrowed her brow and asked me "wistful" meant? I explained to her that she actually fit into that little dress at one time. I looked at her and smiled and said, "Gaby, whatever happened to that little, itty bitty, bald, chubby cheeked baby girl?"
Gaby looked at the little pink dress and then turned back to me with a mischievous grin and replied; "I ate her! She's inside me!" Then she broke into a huge smile and started to laugh at her own cleverness! the harder she laughed, the harder I'd laugh and eventually we fell into fits of utter silliness talking about toddlers eating babies and then little girls eating toddlers and I told her some day a big girl would come along and gobble them all up but, not for a long while yet!
I set the dress aside and spent the rest of the afternoon playing with Gaby, reading to her, coloring with her (when was the last time you colored with your little kids? Or even on your own? For some reason I find it incredibly relaxing...even if I don't always stay in between the lines!), and making Play Doh pizzas and ice cream cones. I savored every moment of that afternoon. As she grows older she'll naturally become less fond of "playing" with mommy and will want more autonomy and the independence to explore a bit of this world on her own...place her feet on the ground, as her own person.
I Just wish it weren't happening so fast.
I never did get back to sorting through her clothes. They'll remain in a self-storage locker until this summer when I can sit down and actually decide what I want to save for sentiments sake and what should go to Goodwill, or to Cali. Who knows, eventually some of the clothing might even make it into this garage sale we keep saying we're going to have. In the interim, it's time yet again, to go through her armoire and closet, and weed out the too-small clothing and place it in yet another Rubbermaid tote, to be stored and eventually sorted. As I sit, and once again sort through those clothes, it will once again be hard to keep from holding some of the clothing close to me in an attempt to try and recapture some of the time that seems to fly by on fairy wings and little girl giggles.
As it flies by, every once in while I'll try, probably in vain, to catch a bit of the baby...

