Dude,
As a fellow Englishman, you are driving me bonkers!
Don't get me wrong, your new series "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" is fascinating, enlightening and seriously entertaining. Some of the things on the show are truly frightening to see. We will be watching like hawks when Gaby starts school, because she's already a finicky eater (to put it mildly) and we want her to have a good diet, not just junk food. So your series is an eye-opener for us.
That said, you need to stop trying so hard to sound like an American. You're not. You never will be, with an accent like yours. The only accent harder to lose here is any of the Scots accents, but especially the Glaswegian. Still, with the GEICO Gecko on TV every time the ads come on, you should be a breeze for the colonials to understand.
And what's with the "brother" a hundred times in ten minutes? You may have been helping the young lad to cook, but he doesn't even look like you. For a start, he's too tall. So he's not your brother. He isn't even your second cousin twice removed. Back in Britain, he'd have been "mate", or "sunshine", or "young man". Okay, the last one is a bit Brian Clough, but you can see what I'm getting at. Don't ruin it and go all transatlantic on us expats. We already have Catherine Zeta Jones for that.
Where does "ass" come from, too? You're not ghetto-smart. The only 'hood you've ever seen is the one on your parka. You're from London. And Londoners use "arse", especially when preceded by "silly", or followed by "nal", or, dare I say it, "hole", unless they are actually talking about donkeys. Even then, they usually just call it a donkey. Next, you'll be dropping the "u" from colour, rumour and ... shock! horror! ... flavour! Seriously, it could ruin your whole image if you can't spell the word that is intrinsically intertwined with the very thing for which you're famous. Don't do it.
Lastly, where's the Lambretta? Couldn't they fit it on the plane? Didn't you get it shipped over here? You are so not the SUV type. I mean, can you imagine driving a tank like that around the streets of London? You get stuck just off Regent Street and they'd have to knock down a couple of buildings just to extricate it. Two wheels, mate. Even if the trip is a couple of hundred miles between towns here.
Ta Ra for now!
G
