My complimentary copies of the October 2010 (it's the first of two editions, my feature appears in the first edition for October), Woman's Day magazine in which something I wrote appears.
I went through the roof with excitement when I heard the package hit the back porch and realized what it was. Then I immediately wanted to kick our UPS guy in the junk because I didn't want MY copies bent or misshapen in any way! I felt like running after the big brown truck and yelling, "HEY DUDE! I'M IN THIS MAGAZINE DAMMIT! DON'T JUST THROW STUFF AROUND LIKE THAT!!!!!"
But I didn't, because frankly my hands were shaking and I was too excited about tearing into the package and getting my very first glimpse of my own writing in publication.
I understand that for a lot of bloggers out there, especially those in the intellectually elite crowd, that being published in a major magazine might not seem like much, or it might even be something they're used to and have experienced multiple times. But for me? This is HUGE! All I have ever wanted to do my entire life is write. It's the one thing I am most passionate about next to my husband and children.
I opened up the package, hands shaking, feet moving constantly against the hardwood floor, teeth biting down on my lower lip. I pulled out the two copies of the magazine. So fresh from the presses. Glossy and smooth. I took extra care in turning each page so as not to crack the spine (something I can NEVER manage to NOT do with paperback books, whereas my husband has NEVER cracked a paperback spine in his entire life!) and found the pages that my feature was on, along with the other two bloggers who were featured (I'd link to them, and will eventually, but I'm not not sure how much I'm supposed to share from an advance copy of a magazine that is not available for purchase until 8/31/10) and ran my hands along the pages.
There were my words. In all their black and white glory. I was a bit taken back by the photo that accompanied the story, because to me, it appeared like, when they cropped the image I gave them to use, it added 20lbs to my face. It didn't take away from the words...MY words. I hated the appearance of the photo but I loved the beauty of my words appearing in print, for the first time ever.
To put it succinctly, while the subject matter is very emotional and I share my actual weight (oh dear God, did I really do that, in a nationally circulated magazine????), I'm proud of myself for taking the opportunity I was blessed with to tell part of my story, in my own words.
I.AM.PROUD.OF.MYSELF.
I can count on one hand the number of times I've uttered those words. Far too few. Here's to be being published for the first time and to hearing those words a lot more from here on out!
