I bet you'll never guess where we're going this weekend! Oh come on, give it a try...
What? What's that you said? Maine? Geez. I guess I'm pretty transparent!
We decided to empty out our piggy banks, scrape all the loose change from underneath the sofa cushions, car seats, and out from the dryer vent, and get then get back over there and make a concerted effort to get rid of as much stuff as possible. Oh sure, I'm just overjoyed to be busting my super-sized butt over a holiday weekend, but it's in Maine and that makes it all worthwhile. Plus, we're also going to be camping out. At the house. With no electricity. And no hot water. But hey, the BBQ is still there and combine that with a cooler full of fresh veggies and fruit! I'm pretty sure we'll somehow get by.
Gaby somehow got the impression we were "tent camping" this weekend but if she knew my history with tents, she'd quickly agree that is probably one of the worst ideas...ever! I don't get along with tents. Ask anyone who knows me. It's not an issue of not liking camping in a tent; it is an issue of getting to the point where you can camp in the tent, i.e., putting the tent up! You could give me instructions so simple that a toddler could assemble a tent and I still would not be able to put it together. I'm much better at organizing things that will go into the tent, once it's ready for occupancy. I can clear a camp site of pine needles like no ones business. Just do not, I beg of you, ask me, or make the mistake of assuming I am capable of, putting a tent together. It always ends badly.
I'll let you in on another little secret. It's been more than 15 years since I've been on a genuine camping trip. If there's anything I feel bad about when it comes to my first marriage, it's the fact that my poor ex-husband had to find that out, the hard way, in the middle of the night after we'd driven more than 10 straight hours to get to the middle-of-nowhere in the Idaho mountains, that as badly as I wanted to go camping and was so excited for that trip, that I had no earthly clue how to assemble a stupid tent! Besides, I had two 3-year-olds and a 9-month-old that I was trying to look after.
It was pitch black when we got to the camp site and after two hours of trying to get me to see the logic in putting the tent together, he gave up. Mercifully, for him, our best friends, Mike and Bobbie, were also there. Mike came over with a beer and a hammer, and Bobbie brought me a margarita and some tissues. The margarita was for my nerves and the tissues were for the fact that I had started to sob when I realized that my complete inability to help put up a tent (in my defense, it was dark in them thar deep woods of Northern Idaho!) may very well mean we'd be sleeping on the ground, or in the car!
After all that work, and with the help of our friends, we spent all of two hours in the tent when I realized it was far too cold for the kids or me, and we went and slept in the car!
Despite the lack of a tent, or truly being outdoors this time around, we will, for all intents and purposes, be camping. And ya know? I'm OK with that. We'll be in Maine emptying out our house and transitioning toward the moment when the bank will come swallow it up. But I'm not going to spend this weekend focusing on that. I'll be where my heart considers home, with my family and I'm going to enjoy it.
And I'm going to rejoice that I don't have to put up a tent!
