Barking Mad

Photo-Bomb!

This is going to be yet another post which pretty much screams, "How NOT To Be a Professional Blogger!"   Why?  Because I'm going to photo-bomb you with pictures from our recent trip back to Maine, with one glaring exception.  We went back to mostly work on the garage and get stuff cleaned out.  If I posted any photos of the garage itself and it's contents, you would all submit me for an episode of Hoarders!  So, if you were expecting witty content, heavy emotional inward glimpses into my soul, social commentary on the life of the obese...well, sorry.  All I've got for you today is pictures! 

After several loads to Goodwill (I'm pretty sure the entire staff there knows us by name and is probably wondering if we're getting rid of every earthly possession to go and live a spartan life in a hut somewhere! And it never ever ceases to amaze me, how much stuff we have accumulated in such a short time!), and several more to the dump, we took off to the beach for some R&R bright and early the next morning.  When I say bright and early, I mean bright and early!  Gaby was running through the surf before the clock even struck 9AM.  It wasn't even 60F outside but she didn't care.  To say that she was in her element would be an understatement of epic proportions.  Being born in Maine, this kid is a Maine-ah through and through!

 

A wave finally got the best of her.  I really wish I could have captured the expression on her face when she got a mouthful of saltwater!

Eventually she decided to take a break from body-surfing and came ashore to work on her sandcastle-building skills...

That lasted about 10 minutes.  Then she decided to do what most little kids in Maine do during the summer, on the beach...make sand angels!

She is every bit as talented at making sand angels as she is snow angels in the winter time.  There's only one unfortunate draw back to creating sand angels in a bikini...one gets sand in places that sand really shouldn't be!

I finally talked her into letting me take some shots of her.  It's ironic, when I think about it now -  when I first bought a professional-grade DSLR back in 2006 I stated quite emphatically that I did not like taking pictures of children, or humans in general, or really anything that moved because there were too many variables.  I claimed that I was in love with taking pictures of land and seascapes.  They didn't move.   Well it appears that my camera loves this little girl!  I still prefer taking pictures of things where I don't have to say, "Can you show me your pretty teeth?"  "Please get your fingers out of your ears!"  "Sit still!" "Stop making that face!"  However I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy trying to capture the essence of this child of mine.

What do you think?  Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Cover Girl...2022?

She can be a real ham too!  Despite her totally goofiness, I love this photo!  I love her hair blowing in the wind...

For a change of scenery, I took a picture of my better half!

Gaby decided it was back into the water, so away she and her daddy went! I LOVE this picture!

Once they were well and truly out of camera range I took aim at the things around me, for instance, some driftwood that I thought framed the little beach we were near, nicely...

And finally, because I thought this was one of the coolest things I had ever seen, a "Beach-Friendly Wheelchair."   You can rent these at the entrance to Popham Beach.   I have seen them before on the numerous occasions I've been to Popham, but never up close. 

There ya go!  Now you can say you've been photo-bombed by Barking Mad!

**********

I wanted to say "Hello!" and "Welcome to the asylum" to my new readers who have either found me via the article in the October 2010 issue of Woman's Day magazine, or through your various travels through the interwebs.  I am glad you found your way here and hope you'll pipe up and say hi in the comments section (I really try hard to respond to each comment via the reply feature within the comments!), and that I hope you'll come back and visit.

Laboring Away the Labor Day Weekend

 

I bet you'll never guess where we're going this weekend!  Oh come on, give it a try...

What?  What's that you said?  Maine?  Geez.  I guess I'm pretty transparent!

We decided to empty out our piggy banks, scrape all the loose change from underneath the sofa cushions, car seats, and out from the dryer vent, and get then get back over there and make a concerted effort to get rid of as much stuff as possible.   Oh sure, I'm just overjoyed to be busting my super-sized butt over a holiday weekend, but it's in Maine and that makes it all worthwhile.  Plus, we're also going to be camping out.  At the house.  With no electricity.  And no hot water.  But hey, the BBQ is still there and combine that with a cooler full of fresh veggies and fruit!  I'm pretty sure we'll somehow get by.  

Gaby somehow got the impression we were "tent camping" this weekend but if she knew my history with tents, she'd quickly agree that is probably one of the worst ideas...ever!  I don't get along with tents.  Ask anyone who knows me.   It's not an issue of not liking camping in a tent; it is an issue of getting to the point where you can camp in the tent, i.e., putting the tent up!  You could give me instructions so simple that a toddler could assemble a tent and I still would not be able to put it together.  I'm much better at organizing things that will go into the tent, once it's ready for occupancy.   I can clear a camp site of pine needles like no ones business.  Just do not, I beg of you, ask me, or make the mistake of assuming I am capable of, putting a tent together.   It always ends badly.

I'll let you in on another little secret.  It's been more than 15 years since I've been on a genuine camping trip.  If there's anything I feel bad about when it comes to my first marriage, it's the fact that my poor ex-husband had to find that out, the hard way, in the middle of the night after we'd driven more than 10 straight hours to get to the middle-of-nowhere in the Idaho mountains, that as badly as I wanted to go camping and was so excited for that trip, that I had no earthly clue how to assemble a stupid tent!  Besides, I had two 3-year-olds and a 9-month-old that I was trying to look after.  

It was pitch black when we got to the camp site and after two hours of trying to get me to see the logic in putting the tent together, he gave up.  Mercifully, for him, our best friends, Mike and Bobbie, were also there.  Mike came over with a beer and a hammer, and Bobbie brought me a margarita and some tissues.  The margarita was for my nerves and the tissues were for the fact that I had started to sob when I realized that my complete inability to help put up a tent (in my defense, it was dark in them thar deep woods of Northern Idaho!) may very well mean we'd be sleeping on the ground, or in the car!

After all that work, and with the help of our friends, we spent all of two hours in the tent when I realized it was far too cold for the kids or me, and we went and slept in the car!

Despite the lack of a tent, or truly being outdoors this time around, we will, for all intents and purposes, be camping.  And ya know?  I'm OK with that.  We'll be in Maine emptying out our house and transitioning toward the moment when the bank will come swallow it up.  But I'm not going to spend this weekend focusing on that.  I'll be where my heart considers home, with my family and I'm going to enjoy it. 

And I'm going to rejoice that I don't have to put up a tent!

 

Once Upon a Time in a Land Far Far Away...

...there was a little girl who wished to receive an increase in her weekly allowance.  She complained that a mere dollar per week was not enough. She considered this a very big problem indeed!  So she went to see the bank manager to discuss her finances.

The bank manager listened as the little girl explained her desire for more money...

 

She continued to explain to the bank manager why a meager $1 a week was not nearly enough, not when there were brand new books and toys coming out almost every single day!

 

She listened while the bank manager explained to her that for her age and experience, $1 a week was in fact, a great deal of money.

 

The bank manager then told her that he would not be able to approve her request for an increase in her weekly allowance, but he had some ideas for her.  The little girl stood there with a rather glum expression on her face as he offered her some suggestions...

 

"Get a job", suggested the bank manager.  He followed that suggestion with another, "And don't forget to save at least half of everything you earn!  You never know when a rainy day might come along!"

So she went out and did exactly that. 

The next day when the bank manager went to lunch and a local diner, who should he see waiting on him? 

 

   

The bank manager told her that it was very nice to see such eager initiative in young folks nowadays and that he was pleased she had decided to earn more money towards those books and toys she wanted so badly. 

He paid his bill and left the little girl a very nice tip as a reward for the wonderful service she provided him.

 

The little girl was surprised at how quickly she was able to earn a little money for a few books and a nice new soft and cuddly teddy bear.  She even had money left over to put into her piggy bank!  The bank manager would be very proud of her!

The little girl soon grew bored with her job at the diner so she set out for what she thought would be greener pastures...

 

She decided that a life on stage was just the ticket!  She would sing and dance her way to lots of money and be able to dress up in fancy dresses that twirled out when she would spin around!

 

 

In addition to being able to dance and sing on the stage, the little girl was not prepared for the less attractive side of a life in front of an audience.  She would occasionally have to put on puppet shows and she didn't like doing that one little bit!

 

So with one final, graceful bow to her audience, she bid adieu to her adoring fans and left the lights and fancy clothes behind.

 

The little girl went back to bank manager and once again asked for an increase in her allowance.  She told him that she had saved more than half of everything she earned at the diner and was even able to put away a little money after working in live theatre but she still wanted more!  The bank manager repeated his suggestions from before, but this time he told her that maybe if she wanted to earn more money, she should go to school and learn to do something that would provide more money!  So the little girl set out to do exactly that!

During the day she went to school and learned everything she could!

 

   

...and in the early evenings she would work at the local grocers.  Who should stop in one day on his way home from the bank to pick up some things for his supper?  Why it was the bank manager himself!

 

The bank manager was very pleased to see the little girl and she told him that she was going to school and learning as much as she could!  He listened intently to her, and then he offered her one final piece of advice, "Take a little time, between all your hard work and book-learning to remember to have some fun!"  He wished her all the best, and then paid for his goods and went on his way.

 

The little girl did several things while she was in school to help earn money.   For a while she captained a tourist train and went on many adventures with wonderful people from all over the world!

 

She greeted each passenger on her train with a warm and welcoming smile!

 

In her spare time during breaks from school, the little girl was even a volunteer with her local fire department.  She had many kitty cat and baby doll rescues to her credit  She loved animals and was happiest when she was rescuing them from near-catastrophe!

 

 

More time passed and before she knew it, the little girl had finished school and was ready to do what she really wanted to do and loved to do.  

 

She went to school and learned how to be an animal doctor!  A veterinarian!  She loved animals and her heart was happiest when she helped the ones who were hurt or sick, to feel better.

 

   

The little girl never forgot the bank manager, or his advice,  so she set out to have fun from time time. 

 

To this day, you can still see them both - having grown quite close to one another, almost like father and daughter you might say, having the time of their lives!  

 

Here's a little video of the little girl, being a free spirit and making some merry music...If you stepped in certain places there were sensors that would make musical sounds.  It was pretty cool!

**********

Over the past several weeks I've gotten several requests from family and friends alike to post some pictures.   Despite some misgivings about going anywhere over the weekend (I was still stinging just a wee bit from my encounter in the park the previous day!), we went ahead and took Gaby to the Children's Museum at Saratoga and had a great time!  There is so much to do there! 

The pictures above are from our visit on Saturday, when Gaby got to experience a bank, working in a diner, driving a train, and being a vet, amongst several other things. I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of just slapping all the photos up here so I created a little story to go with them.  Cheesy?  Maybe.  Fun?  Definitely.  Just watching the smile on Gaby's face as she went from display to display at the museum was more than enough to asauge any discomfort I was feeling about being out of the house and around people who might make fun of me...especially little kids who always seem to apt to point out the fat people.  It's not wrong - because kids are, for the most part, just making honest observations.  But it's still awkward (for all involved, especially the child's parents) and painful, for me.  If anyone said anything or pointed, I didn't notice.  My attention was focused solely on Gaby and making sure she had a great time!  And ya know?  That's the way it should be!

**********

Oh and Gaby still only gets $1 a week, but we aren't ready to make her go out and get a job any time soon.  I think Santa and the Birthday Faeries will be able to take care of a few extra books and baubles that her allowance doesn't cover.  Not that she spends any of her allowance anyhow.  It all goes into the piggy bank!

 

As Close as I Will Ever Get to Going Fishin'

Sure, we live on a lake. 

Yes, we have a dock...although lately it's covered in duck, heron and gull crap, which makes wanting to go out and sit on it - gross!

No, I don't like fish.  I don't care for any type of seafood really.  Nope, not even lobster.  Living in Maine for as long as we did, I never learned to like it. 

So, this right here is as close as I will probably ever get to casting a link, and catching a fish.

 

That's right, a game!  From the comfort and safety of my own home, where I don't have to bait a hook (or myself, because HELLO, my luck?), with a live worm or anything else gross and then actually manage to catch a fish and have to decide just what I'm going to do with it.  Because I sure as hell will not eat it!

This little game right here, that's right at my comfort level, and well, probably intellectual level too seeing as how I only managed to win one out of ten games and that was the one time Gareth wasn't playing!  Then, when I threw my arms up in the air and yelled, "YES!!!!" this is what I get from Gaby...

 

Sour grapes anyone?

Oh, and then when it was just me and Gaby playing, guess who helped her cheat?  Yeah, that's right!  Mr. Brit himself, the same one who was so sure that the English would win today's World Cup soccer match (Yes, I called it soccer, see Steph's comment on yesterday's post...SO THERE!) and then it ended up being a draw!  So when I got up after he "helped" her catch more fish, and stomped away from the table; Gaby leaned over to her daddy and said, "She's just angry 'cause we cheated!"  Gee, ya think? 

I swear, I can't catch a break anywhere!  Just you wait Miss Gaby.  I happen to kick ass at Uno.  Just you wait my pretty!  Just you wait!

 

Next Thing Ya Know, She'll Have Us Up at 3AM Doing Push-Ups!

Meg has informed us that we will in fact, be eating these. Yes ma'am!

 

   

 

   

   

Just wait until you see all the, the...em, errr, ahhhh. well, the crap goodness that's packed inside these things.  I'll post a vlog of the entire ordeal lovely meal once it's all said and done.  We have also been informed that we'll be doing a considerable amount of push ups should we not wish to partake in our government sponsored feast. After all, they're "Warfighter Recommended, Warfighter Tested, Warfighter Approved™"  I guess, if all those warfighters can eat them, then a blogger, her British hubby, and their four year old can manage to choke one down enjoy one as well! 

A lot of you have asked if Meg is enjoying the rest of her leave, here in NY. I'd say so. One of the first things she did was look at our lawn and shake her head...

 

   

Hard to believe it's already Wednesday and by Sunday afternoon she'll be winging her way towards the UK where she'll be stationed until she deploys to the middle east in the next couple of months.  So, we're enjoying every single second of having her home with us.  This is despite the fact that she's had to put up with a whiny mom who has one of the worst sinus colds she's ever had, and a little sister who is so happy to have her big sister home again that she's been bouncing off of the walls almost continuously since Meg stepped foot in the front door.

The drive back from Maine was bittersweet to say the least.  Maine is every bit as special to Meg as it is to me and she was hit by the realization that she probably won't be back in the lobster state for two or three years. 

On the way back towards NY, on Sunday morning, Meg and I climbed all over the rocks at Nubble Light in York, and then just sat there and inhaled the salty sweet perfume of the Atlantic ocean and didn't need to say much because we were both thinking the same thing...how much we hated leaving.

   

At some point our goal is to make Maine our real home again.  I don't know when, but I do know that we will.  Until then, no matter where we are Meg, you always have a home with us...we'll do our best to make "home" wherever we are!

 
P.S. I know I was supposed to post Part II of, "It's Just a Boob" today.  I completely forgot.  It'll be up later tomorrow!