Barking Mad

Beating the Heat...Well, How WE Do It Anyhow!

I think I'm finally at a place in the nasty chore of unpacking after a move, in which I can treat myself to some time spent writing.   Of course my semi-blogging hiatus has been more the result of wanting to write but not only not having the time, but backing off of my "no holds barred" writing for fear of pissing certain people off, than it has been the act of delaying gratification.   However, it does feel good, sort of like cracking into a slightly slushy, icy cold Coke, to be able to sit down and write.

Amidst all the non-blogging, we've also been doing a lot of...well, a lot of living.  Living.  Really enjoying life.  I know?  I'm just as shocked as you are.   God forbid Audrey should have some fun and actually crack a smile.     Once you see all the photos I'm about to bomb you with, you'll see just exactly why it was so hard to keep from smiling.

To steal some of Gaby's very own words, "Mom, you sure are smiling a lot more lately.  I like your face when you do that!"

It's been hot lately.  'Wicked-hot' as folks 'round these parts tend to say. OK, so folks in these particular parts don't say it so much as back in New England, but hey, I'm technically less than an hour away from the New England border, so just humor me.   Anyhow, we do whatever we can to cool down and keep Gaby and her friends cool as well.  

Enter the inflatable swimming pool...

Then one must fill the inflatable pool!

This right here is how we beat the heat 'round these parts. 

This right here is what summer is all about.

This right here is what living is all about!

 

THIS is Why You Should Play, "Would You Rather...?"

I suppose it should be said, here and now, that the makers of "Would You Rather...?" have in no way paid or endorsed me for this post.  There, now that that's out of the way, I can get on with the good stuff.

Back on the 26th of December for Gaby's 5th birthday, we had some of our close friends, Kim, Kevin and all of their kids over for a little party.  While the little kids were running around acting like hooligans, no doubt with a little help from all of the sugar I provided, the adults and Kim and Kevin's older kids were sitting around our table playing "Apples to Apples" (which is HILARIOUS and one that I'd never played before!)  and then "Would You Rather...?"

Gareth and I have played "Would You Rather...?" before and it was outrageous fun!  I was overjoyed to have yet another chance to play the game, despite the lapse in almost two years since having first played it!   Of course, I was also sitting there hoping and praying that I wouldn't get any of the "Challenge" cards this time around.  Alas, I did.  But I lucked out and only ended up having a eyeliner-mustache and glasses drawn on me!    Gareth wasn't so lucky this time around. 

Not only did he end up pulling a challenge card which required us to blindfold him and then make him smell a bunch of foul things which he'd have to correctly identify (he wasn't able to identify a single one!),  but he also ended up pulling another challenge card in which he had to lap up a bowl of water like a cat for 30 seconds!

Of course I yanked out my Flip and got the entire thing, including my annoying non-stop voice and uber-grating laugh, on video.

This right here (and many other interesting challenges!) is why you should grab this game and play it...often!

 

Cremating Orville

I have been in a really strange mood most of the day.   As night drew close, things went downhill fast after a major disagreement between my youngest son and me.   As a result of how I left things with him, I spent most of the evening flagellating myself over my poor parenting skills and was doubting my ability, in it's entirety, as a parent.

As I sat on the couch, fuming and miserable, I happened to spy a brand new box of Orville Redenbacher (who has not paid me or endorsed this post in any way, shape or form, and considering the fact that he's been dead for a while now, it would be creepy if he had!), microwave popcorn.   

Gareth had just built a roaring fire in the fireplace and as I warmed my feet in front of the fireplace, I glanced back at the counter at the bright red box of popcorn; an idea began to take shape.

For those of you who are already adding up 2+2, that's probably because you're keenly familiar with my juvenile sense of humor after reading my many bizarre and unusual Facebook status updates from this past Saturday night.   I had to go to the place known as Hell on Earth during the holiday season...WalMart.  It was pretty late and I didn't think many people would be there.  Ha!  Despite the fact that it was well after 11PM, the place was packed. 

As I wandered through the store looking for the things I needed, I happened to head into the toy department.   To make a long story short, I set off every single electronic toy I could think of, and then bailed as quickly as I could to the hunting and camping department.  By the time I got over there, I could still hear the squeals from Torture Me Elmo and the peals of laughter from Baby Shouldn't Be Alive -  all the way across the store.

That wasn't enough though.  On my way back to the other side of the store, I detoured once more into the toy department and thought to myself, "Self, what fresh Hell can we wreak now?"  Piled one on top of the other on the shelf in front of me were several Fancy Nancy dolls.   Personally I think she needs to be renamed Freaky and Frumpy Nancy but what do I know?  I'm not a marketing type.  

I grabbed as many of those Freaky and Frumpy Fancy Nancy dolls as my arms could hold and placed each one on a bicycle.   Hey, even Nancy wants a ride!

Fast forward to this evening.  

I opened the box of microwave popcorn and took a bag out of the box.   As I unwrapped it, I glanced at Gareth, who then looked around for each cat (I'm assuming to make sure they were safely tucked out of harms way - he knows what happens when I play with fire) and then he grabbed Gaby and told her to stand well away from mummy. 

What happened next?  Glad you asked.  Here's the video I shot of the entire thing.  Be sure and watch the entire 2 1/2 minutes...the ending is especially explosive.

I'm going to go change my pants now.